Sunday, June 21, 2009
Updates from Aussieland in the middle of the night.
Aussieland is my fantasy land where i feel i am freed from the haunts in Singapore. Basically for all i can remember best now, Singapore is a nightmare i never want to return. There's only sad pasts and terror there for me. Troubles and more problems for my once carefree and happy mind. Loneliness and emptiness that words cannot express, where i cannot feel and know myself. Where i have to learnt hard to survive on instincts in every aspects. Where love of all types are devoided, where i am just an empty, breathing mobile shell fulfilling the mundane tasks in living in Singapore.
In Aussieland, though falling short of the kind of world i yearn to live in, is next best than Singapore. Not that i really hate Singapore, just the memories. The painful sad ones turned me off. Of all that i have always craved for, i felt it here right now. I am feeling every bit of being Cherie. It's something i had difficulty doing in singapore. I have learnt much about myself than before. I have felt and experienced what i have always craved for and found it. But it is shortlived. A simple life here fits me better, a brand new start in a new environment, away from the pasts i never want to be reminded of. I wished, with so much regrets and secret desires. I wished just as much to feel the warmth amidst the cold here, back in Singapore though it will never happen.
They say "
Amor est vitae essentia" Really?
For once of all nights here, i really can't sleep. Will i ever meet the one willing to stand against the world together?
Talk in my flooble chatterbox! ( if your can\'t tag on the screen!(: )
