Friday, March 02, 2007
Sometimes matters which we fear, tend to creep closer and arrive sooner than expected. The latter is what we might feel towards something dreadful, but even if that dreadful matter arrived behind schedule, being late, we'd still see it as too soon. A natural instincts in all of us humans.
The waiting period to the release of the A levels results, is essentially coming to an end, in another roughly 14 more hours from now. It makes one feel kinda dreamy, to actually come to face reality that 2 months flew past just like that. It was fun, though sometimes mundane as usual. Fun for the reason while we work out temp jobs, we enjoy more flexibility with time from our parents, yet mundane when we have to work during the day, leaving the very early mornings and evenings to be free. It definitely feels good to be earning a bit of pocket money for personal spending instead of always asking from parents. During the 'awaiting the A lvl results' period, there was no pressure when we fill out forms in any application forms for the academic qualifications section had to be only awaiting results. No stigma, no biasness from the results and grades etc. It might have been a huge relief for many i believe,that SEAB is releasing the results after the Chinese New Year. To think if they had released it before then, those who might not have achieved their ideal results would have felt totally awful. Especially when it's the period of time when relatives and family get together, questions related to results enquiry is inevitable. For those who managed to achieve ideal results, they have nothing to fear;but the others might face social stigma and some possible snide remarks from them,which in turn further injure their pride and shattered inner souls. Hence, optimically, it's a good thing that problem poses no threat now.
Likewise, i guess i should face it, the reality however edgy i feel on tenterhooks. Whatever my results have in store for me, it's there already. Sounds like my fate's been sealed. Results slips are probably locked up in the Principal's safe now, ticking away like a time bomb, waiting to blast at their intended victims.
Just wondering how i shall handle the shock and blow. Everyone sees me as the headstrong brave girl, who knows me inside out? Aye, i'm one who prefers to take things on a defensive stand, therefore want to prepare for the worst-case scenarios. Similarly, in any scuffles, i also tend to blame myself mroe than pushing or blamming others, cause i hate to caught in awkward imprompt-tu positions. Mom's not helping me in any sense to calm my already jumpy nerves. Thanks for the additional pressure when i least neede it.
I think i am quite stoned now, devoid of feelings but it's good this way. Hope i can retain such attitude throughout today. My mind dare not venture to the unknowns and possibilities. Need to shut them out. Aye, till then and all the best to myself and all who will be picking up their results tomorrow, The Day.
Talk in my flooble chatterbox! ( if your can\'t tag on the screen!(: )
