Tuesday, March 06, 2007
My blog's been pretty stagnant recently. My world turned slightly seismic from the release of the A levels results last friday. I felt both sadness as well as relief, happiness. Since both extreme feelings cancelled each other out, i felt nothing instead. I observed various reactions from different people in different classes; some jumping with joy over their pleasant results, others weeping over spilled milk. I'm somewhere in between, showing no signs of either. I couldn't feel any adrenline pumping whilst listening to the principal's speech before the release of results. I though i was rather abnormal, or rather the behavious was peculiar by itself.
I had to admit my heart smiled for the first time in college, a little happy when i saw my grades, despite them not being fantastic. But i made a thorough improvement and was glad i've achieved my general target. Being the typical greedy human being, i'd wished i could have done better, and that was the disappointment. In short, i'm just fitfully satisfied. Let's hope i can do better, for i'm not going to give up without giving my best yet. Cause' i haven't. It is difficult at times, to grow up and be able to handle the increasing stress around us; socially, economically perhaps. I have 2 more chances, how shall i make it hit bull's eye? Inevitable, all humans have the tendency to doubt themselves and their abilities. Why am i doing this? For the sole purpose of regaining and rebuilding my confidence. I've thought through, without confidence like the one i used to have, i can't move forward. Therefore, let the new quest begin, while i try adapting when the impact of what i have experienced finally hit home in the near future. Aja-Aja!
Being a public blog, i can't speak my mind of my true private feelings. I've got things to say, but..it's just so insecured..Am i that strong as said by others? Will i be able to succeed in my quest? I should not even place any doubts on myself but i can't help thinking far ahead...
Talk in my flooble chatterbox! ( if your can\'t tag on the screen!(: )
