Saturday, December 16, 2006
突然间我在自己的房间里感到浑身不自在，好像自己并不属于这个陌生的地方。好冷，好孤单。内心的确实有许多感触，可是我又能告诉谁呢？我眼前的这个世界仿佛想恶梦中相似，好可怕。你知道吗？你知道我多么挂念着你吗？多么希望你能知道我内心的那番话。我不求你和我分担思愁或犹豫，只想你知道我的内心感受。我只希望你在我身边，让我对这个恐怖的世界不再害怕，让我知道起码在当这世界上所有的人都放弃了我，离开了我，你不会。
多不起，我好像真的突然对你又感觉。。。不，你不知。 也许可能永远不知，直到我死后吧，或许我死前才告诉你也可能。没想你表白也许是我这生中最大的遗憾之一吧。我想又是我再单恋了。或许，你也对我豪无一丝的感觉，或者更没对我产生过好感，只是我一湘情愿罢了。现在，即使我又多么喜欢你，我只是会在暗中默默的喜欢你，所以你可以放心。只要你快乐，我也就快乐了。
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It's been quite some horrid days, experienced many things which i shouldn't have. Seemingly burnt my fingers in those affairs, got my ass stuck in situations that ain't got my business in. Yup, dragged into that situation for things others dun like. Just wished these horrid experiences will pass soon. They make me wanna run away to a faraway land, to isolate myself, to find another lease of life. SOmetimes, the thought of those makes me freak out. To think such horrid things can happen. I may be 18 but i'm still a teenager, i'm not any GOD, not made out to be perfect. Are yall perfect as of what you expect of me? Am i to blame for my own upbringing since babyhood? Besides, i am no dog to yall, i'm a living human with an individual thinking brain. We all make mistakes, i'm not an exception, so aren't all of you. Stop harping on my mistakes made out from a moment of folly, what about your own? Y'all don't even hear me and my reasons out. How can i learn from my own mistakes? So y'all think my life's like a bed of roses eh? Nobody knows how i felt deep down, NOBODY. How can i trust any of you, the fact y'all have the possibility of betraying me? I'm sick of all these, seriously. I may look fine on the outside, the day i explode's the day i'll die. Boy am i looking forward to that day to be free.
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Gosh, i had a scolding just an hour ago. Boy that scolding lasted for err i think an hour and a half? Basically my darling big aunt added fuel AND salt to the fire for me going home late. Well, 9pm ain't too late, right. Basically she went on about all the naggings that sounded like a recorder which played itself everytime she nags. I may be wrong at time, yes and i am willing to learn from those mistakes. But give me some time. Please. I'm confused now, very..with many matters i had on my mind. I need to get away from everything..I
needa tell him..don't know why i'm in tears alr..
Talk in my flooble chatterbox! ( if your can\'t tag on the screen!(: )
