Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Physified, i love not
Yikes, I took the Chemistry Mock paper in school, in the afternoon to be exact. MCQ component was fairly ok, the paper2 was seriously an OM天啊！I kinda screwed it up. It was a total bullshit, simple questions i forgot the answers and explanations, relatively easy equations which i should be able to do, i forgotten and answered the otherwise. After the paper, my mind was a total blank. Devastated definitely but my mind felt numb. It took me a good half an hour to realise the paper was over; and that i screwed yet another of my favourite Chemistry paper. What a fool i am. Feel like whacking myself hard to get me do better, wake up. But then again, would whacking really help much? If i'm stupid it's way beyond my means, isn't it. Gahh. It worries me sometimes when i look upon my ambition and wonder if i ever can make it there. Will i ever reach the beautiful stars at night that shine and twinkle at me? Will i get the priviledge of hitching a space shuttle to get there? Or will i be underqualified to earn myself that priviledge, left aside only to stare dolefully at the beautiful stars i can never reach? I really feel as though i'm going through the starters round in picking potential astronauts for some NASA space visits. Like how candidates are screened on their capability and abilities before they are prought further into a preliminary round and then the final eliminations. It worries me on that fact my dreams are so insecured, so fragile; so near yet so far away...
ANyway, school resumed as per normal today. Yikes back to waking up at 6am and chasing the last 186 bus at 7.00am though many time it's 5min late. New timetables were posted to each of our classes, and it sounded not too bad, school ends latest at 1pm with perhaps a day at 12noon. So, i went to the school library after school today, after the sure flunk physics test and did some physics MCQs. GOSH, i tried and marked them, i did so badly! if my MCQs are these bad, i can forget about my paper 2 and paper 3 or 4..It's disheartening...i barely pass my physics tests at school. Argh what actually made me wanna continue with bloody physics?! WHAT A 傻瓜 FOOL I WAs...ARGH..I'm really in a "生不如死" situation. Ha, Fell asleep in the library whilst doing the physics MCQs, it was exhausting doing those questions alone and furthermore demoralising when i got them wrong. YEs, utterly vexed i feel now. Who knows it might start some heart palpitations again soon. Oh wells, have to go read and understand my physics mistakes soon. Dang. Hope tomorrow will be a better day? I wish. I ask for my Physics to pass for a c, that's all I'm asking for my birthday present, apart from a B at least for maths and chem. I'm not getting greedy though.
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