La~mour

Monday, August 07, 2006

Living life to the fullest?

Here i am, blogging again. Actually felt lazy to blog anything but decided to blog something this time before i go into any form of blog-hibernation in due time. Indeed i have been slightly off-track recently, since my lag from the completion of my NYAA report which resulted in all these mess. Been slightly disoriented in my views and in many things which i am supposed to be doing well in. It's GP mock exams tomorrow have to sleep earlier tonight, i hope i can at least.

Yesterday was quite something. Yes, something which kinda both fascinated and yet shock me during the day at Jasmine's place...
My stupid physics conceptual test from NTU ended around 12 noon andi headed to Karen's church to pick up my CIP slip of paper to fill in. I needed to get pastor's signature for our OCIP to Sarawak last December. An apparently i spent near an hour at Church to get it endorsed, along with Karen's and JH's. I was running late in my appointment with Jasmine and company and i still needed to get my CIP endorsed for my participation with Heartware Network. So i had to rush down, thanks to Alden and friends who gave me a lift down to Bishan where the Heartware Network's office was. Spent another near40 minutes there yet again before i managed to rush to the MRT to meet the other at Bradell. Even Zebra arrived by the time i reached. OMG! *couldn't help feeling guilty*

Managed to cool off at Jasmine's place with some drink and chocolates. We were chatting a bit while doing work. Indeed, i managed to finish my first question then she came up with the topic of the supernaturals. A bit weird how this topic suddenly popped out of nowhere just as we were commenting of some other mundane topics on daily life. I was quite sceptical when she wanted to demonstrate erm, playing with the pen spirit, which according to her, are actually spirits that live in our shadows. I have read about those spirits and supernaturals before in books but remained sceptical about their existence and not quite believing those. i did not really wanna dabble into those issues for i agree it is dangerous to trod on unfamiliar things. According to Jasmine, there are two spirit involving games which i felt was dangerous: the Plate spirit(die xian) i forgot what it is called in english and the Pen spirit ( bi xian). The pen spirit is the mild ones that helps to protect you from harm, from other spirits which may harm us. Apparently the other latter was the more dangerous one. Jas played the pen spirit game at school with her friends before, but all of us: Zebra , Genie, JW and i have not and never. She offered to play it there and then. It was pretty interesting, new yet there was an aura of mystery and danger around it. I was one first to get pretty freaked out for i didn't exactly like dabbling into such supernatural stuffs. Remebered how hard i tugged at Zebra's berms on the floor beside Jas. Simply couldn't believe what i was seeing when the pen moved..It really moved while they gently touched it. It was a moment of..shock and simply didn't know what or how to react to what i saw. The pen seems to have a life out of it's own and moved..on the paper..Asked a few questions on all of us and realised that Genie and i didn't need any to protect us, but eventually 1 went over to genie. I have none still. Dunno to be glad or not.Glad that i am clear of those supernatural stuffs? Sad because i have none to protect me? I m not too sure too. It was just too much for me to accept what i saw. In fact i amd still, recovering from the shock..I am curious but i dare not do anything. Nevermind, shall leave thhings the way it has been, and see and pass. It's certainly more than what meets the eye man...But i shall put those curious thoughts out of my mind first, at least for the time being until after the big A's...

Next, we were supposed to meet Ivan at Lido for the movie: Helen the fox. It was in theatre 5, quite small and i hated the seats and the screen the whole theatre just felt uncomfortable. Oh well. But the movie was..the plot was rather simple, it seemed all so similar to the other Japanese movie: Home (Hui Jia), except i felt the Home one was more touching. Helen the Fox was not too bad too. It showed us and taught some morals: we should live life to the fullest, no matter what happens, despite of all difficulties or obstacles that come our way. Responsibility and burdens are just part and parcel of our lives that is indisposable to our daily lives. And it is our decision to make to decide on whether something is a form of responsibility or a burden. As of Helen, a fox that was abandoned by her mother suffered from an incurable brain haemorrage which caused it to suffer from painful seizures during attacks. When Taichi picked her up and brought her home, the vet-his step father felt that she was a burden, but Taichi took it upon himself the responsibility to care for Helen the fox, just liek Helen Keller who lost her sense of sight, hearing except her sense of touch. He played the role of a mother to Helen, teaching her of the World, nature. His efforts and actions made Helen feel loved. Taichi went to great extents to make Helen comfortable at home, drink enough milk that she could not taste, eat enough meat that she could not smell. All for the sake of gaining enough weight for operations to save her. Taichi loved and cared for Helen so much that he even learnt skateboarding so that he can teach Helen after her recovery. It was courageous of Taichi who had such strong determination for Helen's survival. He even travelled miles from a desolute forested area where their house was, to the University where Helen was to be operated on, just to bring Helen back, knowing her incurable state. Taichi's presence calmed and brought Helen close to heart, such that she called out for her mother(Taichi) in her ill state where she was not expected to be able to call out.

Taichi loved Helen so much like a mother to a child that he took lots of heart-warming pictures of Helen when she was playing, in the ouse, out of the house, everywhere. Finally, all good things tend to come to an end when we least wanted it to be. Taichi wanted Helen to feel summer, with flowers around her, the warmth and so went to pluck colourful flowers on a hill. Knowing her time was almost up, Helen called out once more for Taichi to return to her side. Seemingly like humans how a loved one was about to leave and part with us forever, Helen wanted Taichi to come to her side for one last feel with his presence before she passed away. Eventually she collapsed, with laboured breathing, and finally lying still, she passed away peacefully in the bed of flowers Taichi plucked and gathered. She died in taichi's presence. At that point in time, i teared, like everyone else did. I hate it when something or someone a loved one passes away. The parting hurts the most and that we can all feel that in Taichi's shoes.

The vet-his step father later mentioned something to Taichi which i felt was quite true and logical: He said that the chinese word "xin" from "xin ku" needs only another's help to become
the "xing"from "xing fu".*notice the extra line at the top from xing compared with xin?
How ture and logical that is..

*wil continue..need to go for now brb*

LA~mour at 12:09 AM