Sunday, September 11, 2005
untitled
Untitled.Lost & confused.There is no heading for this post for i have no idea what to name it anyway.Basically, i'm feeling myself falling into a bottomless pit once again. I always get this feelign when something big and stressful comes round the corner. Yes, Where's the happy me?Darn. 23rd September so near yet so far. Ironically i wished it over now, yet pray not for it's arrival.Why?Bcoz it's the Gp paper, also indicating the start of Promos Exams. crap, with that i feel even more clueless, wher am i now?Where hav i even started or stopped studying till?I feel so insecured. I dun ustand why i sould feel so, even though u r here for me. Maybe like i said, i dun feel the same for u as before, hence i feel insecured,even with you now. What am i toking, anw just dun ask me this if u ever read this..omg..
Been in a daze recently, sometimes on the bus, sometimes in the car on the way home, staring out with either some stuffs on my mind or..jus plain staring and nothing in mind. Also, i realised i've also not been eating well, again. Has my disorder returned?I have to stay pessimistic and strong,especially in staying determined. I have made my promise to them n i must show them i am capable.And definitely, to prove myself wrong that i have lost myself.
I feel that there's so much on my mind, and i feel like running away from them,escapade YEs..Despite constantly reminding myself running away from the problem cannot solve the problem itself. So i need to work on my way of thinking, and be pessimistic. Gosh, what actually killed my pessimistic me?:S..al;rights, i gues i must start mugging now since i m feeling guilty for slacking so many days, today inclusive and yet the day after tomorrow is start of sch again..till then! ta~ta..
*i pray hard n hope i will nto retain...:'(*
Talk in my flooble chatterbox! ( if your can\'t tag on the screen!(: )
