Sunday, July 03, 2005
Fark off!
*Fark off !*.i cant stop hating u.the way u treated us like shit.do u noe tt we hate u?.I guess the scars that was inflicted upon us can never be erased, despite all these years. I tried to love u the way i did years ago, but you made me confused. I thought i had succeeded in forgetting how u treated us and had begin to love you. I was utterly wrong. You raked up those painful memories which brought back the hate i had against you. You made me think how wrong it was to try to love you the old way, like before. I am vey disappointed with you. I had wanted to do it, the many others felt my pain and fear and supported me doing it. AM,D, and some others tried to put me off by getting me to ignore and bear with it. However, that time, i was just too, soft? Maybe..I couldn't bear to do it, Why? Because i had acknowledged you, i had respect for you. Part of me still loves you. You thought i didn't care for you, but in fact, i do. It's just that when i try to be nice and care for you, you labelled me and crititicised me. "Once bitten, twice shy", i never dared show my feelings for you. I wanted love from you, you were skeptical about giving me that assurance, yet you mocked at it. You keep wanting me to give you the respect you deserve, what about mine? Have you ever thought of how i'd feel? It seemed and felt like a NEVER. You wanted things done your way, i give in, you wanted thiongs done Immediately, often without giving me and what i was doing, a single thought. and you complained all about me when i didn't do it immediately etc. We have been your avenue where you vent your anger upon. Are we just a puppet to you?A toy where you pull and do what you want with it? Are you really who you are to us? This is getting questionable. During these years, i have given you enough respect, in fact enough 'face'; it's just at times you were too much on me that i decided to retaliate and make you angry. It actually felt good, for that few moments, to see you angry. I felt a temporary freedom from you. But, i have to do my duties as who i am to you, and remained your anger 'slave aka avenue' til now. Too bad our 8character just simply don't match. That's it, and that's why.
By the way you spoke just now, I felt the need to get away from you. In fact I feel that i need the distance between us. Who knows what's on your psychotic mind? Who knows whether i can have my future. I'm giving you another chance. You do it again, i'm going to seek help. There is enough harm done to us. It has turned into an unerasable scar that lives with us forever. I can bear it no longer. Get off from us. I hate YOU, as ever. Try making that hate grow stronger. Come haunt me, 18 !
Talk in my flooble chatterbox! ( if your can\'t tag on the screen!(: )
